Monday Night Football preview: The Last Game of the Third Part of the Regular Season!

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Week 13: when the NFL hits the doldrums. The Baltimore Ravens usually sit someplace between boring and deplorable. Ray Lewis just seems like a dick and they manage to make purple the snooziest (<-- that is some new West Coast slang) color, so they are like Opposite Prince. Joe Flacco is from Delaware -- he was Delaware Mr. Eyebrow for 10 years running – and as such he joins Joe Biden, George Thorogood, and my friend Aaron as the only people I have ever heard of living there. The Green Bay Packers are, like most things from the Midwest, inoffensively nice. Aaron Rodgers has been playing pretty great this season, throwing to the usual cast of nobodies (sorry, Donald Driver fan club; alliteration does not make a star). He’s done so while maintaining things with his super-hot-but-a-little-questionable-for-dating-Russell-Simmons girlfriend. (That’s the Russell Simmons from Def Jam, not the John Spencer Blues Explosion drummer, although he would be a red flag too.) Green Bay’s defense is improving with the help of longhair enthusiast (and Brady-Quinn-sister-marrying linebacker) AJ Hawk, so this should be a competitive game. Also, it will be in Green Bay in December so you will see plenty of shots of sweaty heads giving off steam. For some reason I really enjoy that.

Foot Ballz Talk is a live internet broadcast in which “two guys talk about football during a Monday night and play records.” It is produced by Mac and TD (familiar to fans of the musical endeavors Big Digits and Bodega Girls), and has been described by us (not by them) as “Mystery Pigskin Theater 3000.” Each Monday, we’ll publish the FBT preview of that night’s contest. You can listen to Foot Ballz Talk on the internet, or follow them on Facebook and Twitter.