Cheer/Jeer, but don’t break a sweat: Cheerleading not a sport

Published Jul 23 2010, 03:55 PM by Marianna Faynshteyn

Not easily swayed by loss, they went with their go-to routine

A few days ago, a U.S. District judge confirmed what we had long suspected: cheerleading is not actually a sport. This issue made it to high courts not, as formerly rumored, to end the long-held debate between popular-cheerleading-captain-older-sister and underachieving-but-"gifted"-younger-brother. It was because a school (nay, a university) cut their volleyball team (an actual sport, in fact for over a hundred years now) and replaced the void with cheerleaders. At first, the move confounded: "Who/what are they cheering for? Don't they know the school just cut an entire team from the roster??" many asked. When explained that they weren't cheering for anyone, they were playing a sport, the move landed the school in court.

So then the almighty judge (Underhill) said that while cheerleading complies under Title IX, the 1972 federal law that says blah blah blah--point is: the activity whose usage of hairspray has a direct relationship to standard of performance does not deserve the label of "athletics."

Yeah, I know, curling is lame (and a sport) but at least you can look shlubby and do it (which is really what determines a sport).

But then, the decision got some people schvitzing (sweating). Some people were like, "Hey, I was a cheerleader and it was hard." Other people said, "Hey, curling's a sport!"

Yeah, yeah, we get it, it's dancing with gymnastics, and that requires flexibility (and ribbon-tied hair). And for a while, we were kind of behind it (at least in terms of Bring it On sequels), but while something can be entertaining, it doesn't mean anyone is going to take it seriously (at least as seriously as curling).

Here, let a cheerleader explain it: