Glitter II: Coyote Showgirls a.k.a. Christina Aguilera's big film debut

It seems that the newly returned (and showered up) Christina Aguilera is ready to make her bid for next Oscar season, if the trailer for her upcoming feature film "Burlesque" is any evidence. Stronger evidence suggests that Xtina has ripped a chapter out of Mariah Carey's book of dubious career moves, because the plot of this film sounds vaguely familiar. "Glitter 2: The Rhinestone Revenge?" This trailer also smacks none-too-faintly of "Showgirls."

Here's the premise: small-town girl with big dreams moves to the big city to pursue a career in music. Girl gets her big shot. Girl's big shot is revealed to come with some seriously tangled strings attached. Girl makes enemy of rival star who, incidentally, doesn't have a thing on our Girl. Girl makes it on her own terms and we all weep with joy and sweet relief. (Many tiny, clingy, sparkly costumes are worn along this road to redemption and pop super-stardom, of course.)  Girl probably also meets Bad Boy with a Heart of Grammy Gold at some point in the middle. 

Not that we have anything against a good old fashioned underdog makes good story. (Did we not all cheer when McLovin' got with the saucy redhead at the end of "Super Bad?" We did, is the answer.) But this particular one seems played out. (Wasn't there another one about a chick from Jersey who wants to make it big but has to strip for quarters at the local cougar bar until LeAnn Rimes comes along and grants her three wishes or something a while back?) Played out and cooked with a recipe guaranteed to give you food poisoning. Seriously, Mariah is still trying to live that fiasco down, she literally sent J.Lo a fruit basket when "Gigli" hit theaters.   

But there was a spritely young Nick Cannon waiting at the end of the tunnel of sludge Mariah crawled through, so perhaps there's hope Christina, yet. Wait, where were we going with this? Ah, hell, just check out the trailer and decide for yourself. And, hey, maybe it will be great. The often-excellent Stanley Tucci is apparently in the flick as well, so there's that. And bionic pop-fossil Cher runs the nightclub where Xtina's character gets a job. Bonus!