WH: Right, right.
JE: Yeah, even people who have sex … become professional porn stars.
BM: Pornland! Hey, wait! That could be the next one!
JE: Speaking of the Internet: one of the interviewers [coming in later] today I think disparaged me on the Internet. I’m pretty sure; I’ve got to ask her when I see her. I’m gonna have Woody ask her, actually.
WH: Yeah, I will!
JE: You know, you’re not supposed to read about yourself on the Internet, but after I did one movie … of course, you search your name on the Internet because you’re like, in a movie. I’m pretty sure she wrote something bad about me and I wrote a response — but didn’t send it — that was scathing. I think I made a good argument, too.
WH: [Laughs.]
JE: But she’ll be here later, so we’ll wait.
BM: Baseball bat ready. [Motions toward bat Woody’s holding.]
WH: But this thing is so effective. Because it’s just so quick — “whoosh.” You know what I mean?
JE: And then she’s wet.
BM: Hmm … you should probably qualify that for the —
JE: Her vagina is wet.
BM: There we go!
WH: [Laughs.]
BM: That’s where I was trying not to go this time. My mother’s going to read this. It’s a small, small town here.
WH: I’m excited because one of my best buddy’s sons is going to college about 40 minutes from here and he’s coming in. So I haven’t seen him in a few years.
JE: How old is he? Must be 20 years old.
WH: He’s probably 19.
BM: That’s the target audience!
JE: Yeah, it’s perfect.
WH: Yeah, so hopefully he’ll like it. If he hates it, we know!
JE: We’re done!
WH: We’re done. We won’t even do any more of this with this; we’ll just go home.
JE: Yeah, we’ll have to hand our credit cards in for the incidentals. That brownie fudge sundae I was gonna end the night with.
WH: Oh, no. We get to quit before that. I think we should just keep the little charade going.
JE: I mean, if this is for the Boston Phoenix, you know, I will say the movie is really clever. I mean, you saw it, right?
BM: Uh-huh.
JE: So you could print a lie. The movie’s really clever.
BM: Um, yeah. I could do that …
JE: No, I mean, it really is. I mean, I don’t like zombie movies, but the movie’s really great. So, if you want, you can tell the local audience it’s very, very clever. They will not feel pandered to once. There’s nothing I hate more —
WH: He doesn’t like it when people pander.
JE: Or when you do lowbrow jokes. … There’s not one bad joke in the movie. Well, there’s like two bad jokes in the movie, but I fought those. I fought them on it. One is when I say the zombie disease gives you a terrible case of the munchies. I think that line’s bad. And that made it in the final cut. I don’t think there are any other bad lines in the movie, really.
WH: No, you said there were two.
BM: One line ain’t so bad, even if there are really more.
