"Tell me about your radical beliefs," the Canadian border agent said to Phil Sano.
"Hrm," Sano said. "Can you be more specific?"
"Your art project."
"Well, we try to encourage mature adults to engage in conversations about transportation and sexuality."
"And you film people having sex."
"Not usually. I mean, I could, but that's not the point."
"So they ride bikes while having sex."
"It's more like, making it okay for the individual to define porn for themselves."
"So it's not about sex?"
"Well, once two friends wanted to make a bike porn, so they asked me for help. They just wanted to kiss and strip, and I told them we should tell a story. So he's outside in the rain, doing tricks, and she is inside stretching, and she sees him and his bike and she beckons him in. They make out and she strips him down to his drawers and ties him up, then suddenly she throws him out in the cold and tosses his clothes out and then you see that she ended up stealing his bike."
"Huh."
Sano — Portland bike enthusiast, ordained minister, and curator/instigator of the annual Bike Porn touring film festival — was released from Canadian custody not long after this alleged exchange (which he reported on his Facebook page). Which is lucky for us, since otherwise we'd be forced to resort to the internet for our bicycle-themed pornography.
Instead, this Friday and Saturday we can head down to take in Sano's festival at the Brattle Theatre. This is the fourth year of the tour (thus the name, Bike Porn 4: Play), and its second coming in the Boston area.
If Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound was any indication, you can expect a strong LGBT representation, but all the films — homo, hetero, or whatnot — are united in their mission to explore "bikesexuality." In one film last year, a young man employed nearly every part of his bike to probe and stroke himself until he literally got off . . . on his bike. Titles this year include Drill Baby Drill and Won't You Ride My Neighbor, a twisted take on Mister Rogers. Obscene? Decide for yourself.
Bike Porn 4: Play screens at the Brattle Theatre on April 1 and 2. To get tickets visit the Brattle's website.