Want to call yourself a true Portlander? Here's a checklist.
1) Move your car during a snow ban.
WE'RE OBSESSED: Say hi to Baxter.
2) Be obsessed with your dog (or cat, if you must).
3) Drink beer at Gritty’s.
4) Lounge on the Eastern Prom.
5) Eat sushi. Pick your favorite establishment. Defend it ’til death.
6) Affix a liberal bumper sticker to your car. Or better yet, to your bike.
7) Ditch the disposable water bottle.
8) Say hi to Samuel James. Or Dave Marshall. Or Tinfoil Man. Choose your local celeb.
9) Know, off the top of your head, what category of movies are free at Videoport on Wednesdays.
10) See live music at SPACE, the Big Easy, or Geno’s.
11) Drink beer at Rosie’s.
12) Learn to play the saw or some other obscure instrument.
13) Take up silkscreening.
14) Tour the graveyards.
15) Develop an appreciation for brick.
16) Drink beer at Brian Boru.
17) Lament the loss of the Skinny.
18) Promise yourself you’re going to stop shopping at chain stores and then realize that Target is amazing.
19) Ferry over to Peaks Island.
20) Climb all the way to the fourth floor of the Portland Museum of Art to see the exhibit there.
21) Visit at least one of several nearby bucolic locales: Two Lights, Willard Beach, Ferry Beach.
22) Think about becoming a hippie.
23) Think about becoming an artist.
24) Think about becoming a musician.
25) Get a job.
26) Shop vintage at Ferdinand, Material Objects, or Goodwill.
27) Play ping-pong at Ernie’s Pool and Darts.
28) Drink beer at the Great Lost Bear.
29) Bike up Munjoy Hill.
30) Start an account at the Portland Public Library
.31) Get a sandwich from Big Sky.
32) Get a burrito from Granny’s.
33) Get brunch at Local 188.
GET INKED: Even more than once!
34) Get in line at Becky’s.
35) Dream about moving to Boston or New York.
36) Start a drawer dedicated to collecting parking tickets.
37) Wonder why we don’t have an elected mayor.
38) Drink whiskey at Downtown Lounge.
39) Get a tattoo, or several.
40) Use the term “working waterfront” in a sentence. Then try it without irony.
41) Get cheese from Rosemont.
42) Buy Local.
43) Get a mani-pedi at Akari.
44) Listen to Rustic Overtones, Phantom Buffalo, Sontiago, and Confusatron. Then discover your own local band.
45) Drink coffee. Pick your favorite establishment. Defend it ’til death.
46) Compost your food scraps.
47) Become a recycling nut.
48) Yes, eat lobster.
49) See a movie at the Nickelodeon.
50) Get carried up Munjoy Hill.
51) Propose — but do not offer to pay for — a major redevelopment of public property.
52) Stop your car for a pedestrian.
53) Sit in the big tree on the Western Prom.54) Paddle to Fort Gorges.
55) Eat a burger at Ruski’s.
56) Walk/run/bike Back Cove
57) Stagger home from the West End to the East End (or the other way ’round) after a long night.
58) Consider yourself part of the “creative economy.”
59) Wonder why the Commercial Street waterfront is filled with parking lots.
60) Go lobstering.
61) Claim you really miss the Village Cafe.
62) Nod knowingly when people lament the passing of Zootz.
63) Explain to people that the Rec Room was really better than Zootz — and why.
64) Use the five-year plan to finish college.
65) Pay the cover charge to see a band at a local club without complaining.
66) Drink beer at RiRa.
67) Eat pizza (and salad!) at Flatbread.
68) Dawdle in Tommy’s Park.
69) Have your eardrums assaulted by Dolby Digital sound at the Westbrook Cinemagic.
70) Ride the Downeaster to Boston. (Don't forget to come back!)
71) Give a tourist directions to DiMillo’s (and/or recommend an alternative).
72) Eat a hangover brunch at Bintliff’s.
73) Shop at Paul’s Food Mart.
74) Have a Bull Moose customer card.
75) Say, “I wish the State Theatre would re-open.”
INDULGE: Let sushi strike your fancy.
76) Talk about using the METRO, but don’t.
77) Drink a PBR at Geno’s.
78) Work at least three months as a waiter/waitress.
79) Know at least three driving routes that avoid Forest Avenue.
80) Spend at least one Saturday posing as a writer in a coffee shop.
81) Be in at least two bands.
82) Be broke.
83) Attend a First Friday (or Second Saturday, or Last Thursday) Art Walk
84) Attend a Portland Phoenix Best Music Poll Awards Show.
85) Trip (or break a heel) on the cobblestones.
86) Build a fairy house on Mackworth Island.
87) Go to Reggae Sunday on Peaks Island.
88) Be (or at least pretend to be) a local microbrew expert.
89) Say, “I wish Sisters would re-open.”
90) Know to get off I-95 at Exit 46 to avoid the 60-cent toll.
91) See a community theater production.
92) Attend a Portland Pirates game.
93) Attend a Sea Dogs game.
94) Go vegan at the North Star.
95) Eat Bill’s Pizza after 1 am on a Friday or Saturday.
96) Attend Alive at Five or Movies in the Park.
97) Eat Rock N Roll Sushi at Benkay
98) Drink Shipyard, Geary’s, Allagash, Casco Bay, Gritty’s, or Sebago beer. Pick your favorite brew. Defend it ’til death.
99) Fight the crowds at Old Port Fest.
100) Read the Portland Phoenix.
: Lifestyle Features
, Dave Marshall
, Brian Boru
, Portland Pirates