Sure, we all love contemplating glistening Adonises, swashbuckling buccaneers, and loincloth-straining savages — but not as much as Uncle Walter does. Like feverish magpies, Uncle Walter and his co-conspirator, The Wife, gather up the greatest pectoral excesses ever to grace a supermarket paperback and put them on display for all the world to revel in at rottenromance.com.
For our V-Day extravaganza, Uncle Walter has been kind enough to smear a little bit of that magic coconut oil on our humble rag. Behold, some of his favorite romance-novel covers -- click forth for the ultimate in tawdry, dog-eared seduction.
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Related:
Review: Per Petterson plumbs The River of Time, Fall Books Preview: Getting booked, Fall Books Preview: Reading list, More 
- Review: Per Petterson plumbs The River of Time
Why would Per Petterson — the bestselling Scandinavian writer whose books don't feature an invincible crimefighting heroine — curse the river of time when he is so adept at navigating it?
- Fall Books Preview: Getting booked
Two Sedarises, two New Yorker favorites, and a famous neurologist are among the highlights of this fall’s book events.
- Fall Books Preview: Reading list
Even if you’re not back in the classroom, autumn inspires a desire to learn, to restore the intellectualism that was fried by too many beers and barbecues and sunburns. Fortunately, Portland is full this fall with opportunities to spark your smarts.
- The man in the yellow fur coat
The cultural critic Mark Dery worked as a clerk for Manhattan's Gotham Book Mart in the early '80s. One afternoon, he was taken by surprise.
- So you thought you were special
Reading Hannah Holmes's work is enlightening and entertaining — even when it's at its most depressing.
- Strange world
Bob Pfeifer's debut novel, University of Strangers (published by Power City Press, the print arm of the punk label Smog Veil Records), is a fictionalized retelling of a sensational, true-life murder case, as related in the voices of real people.
- Review: Good Theater's solid Moonlight and Magnolias
A lot of folks still consider the 1939 film Gone With the Wind to be the best loved and most iconic American movie of all time — and that's the primary concern of Ron Hutchinson's Moonlight and Magnolias , a comedic romp about the monumental difficulties of making Margaret Mitchell's humongous best-seller into a decent film.
- Sarah Braunstein's uncomfortable, beautiful hyperreality
There's an unsettling honesty that spills from Portland author Sarah Braunstein's first novel, The Sweet Relief of Missing Children .
- Review: The eye-popping vitality of 'Printed in Providence'
Providence printmaking continues to be the primary representative of the city's art in books from Street World (2007) to Paper Politics: Socially Engaged Printmaking Today (2009) to the Museum of Modern Art's Modern Women (2010). It's a printmaking of posters and zines, do-it-yourself art often operating underground, on the streets, outside the usual institutions.
- Review: A two-artist show at Aucocisco explores the human form
Like a sort of late-winter Frankenstein, Aucocisco's "Corporeal" exhibition is assembled from work both new and old from two distinct artists in their prime, each offering a grand centerpiece and detailed thematic series in a thoughtful investigation of the artistic body.
- Review: Le Central
Their slogan is "Where the East Bay meets the Left Bank," and Le Central, in the middle of Bristol, usually does a fine job fulfilling the claim with more than good french fries. Gone are the days when the town had to settle for a Café La France on the spot.
- Less
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