The Phoenix Network:
 
 
About  |  Advertise
 
Features  |  Reviews
Best2012Vote-1000x50

Review: Friday the 13th (2009)

A suspense-less rampage
By BRETT MICHEL  |  February 12, 2009
0.5 0.5 Stars


VIDEO: The trailer for Friday the 13th

Jason Voorhees's bloody hands have developed green thumbs. The touchy bastard has been hiding out in the woods bordering abandoned Camp Crystal Lake since June 1980's Friday the 13th, the night he witnessed the beheading of his beloved mass-murderer mother.

Never mind that mom was taking revenge on the camp counselors who were too busy fornicating to notice when Jason, a young camper with special needs, appeared to be drowning. Jason didn't die in that lake, and he overcame his hydrocephalic handicap to carry on the family tradition, hacking his way through 10 sequels-and-spinoffs' worth of horny teens. But in this reboot/reimagining of the original from producer Michael Bay and director Marcus Nispel (the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake), the hockey-masked killer (Derek Mears) doesn't seem much interested in mindless revenge.

No, dude! He's just overly protective of his mythical stash of weed, which requires killing, say, 13 potential tokers in a suspense-less rampage.

Related: In a Dream, Review: (500) Days of Summer, Review: The House of the Devil, More more >
  Topics: Reviews , Entertainment, Movies, Michael Bay,  More more >
| More

 Friends' Activity   Popular   Most Viewed 
[ 02/14 ]   The Addams Family  @ Shubert Theatre
[ 02/14 ]   "Aphrodite and the Gods of Love"  @ Museum of Fine Arts
[ 02/14 ]   "Processes and Dreams"  @ Panopticon Gallery
ARTICLES BY BRETT MICHEL
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   REVIEW: THE VIRAL FACTOR  |  January 17, 2012
    Made for a modest budget of $17 million — and feeling like it (who needs convincing explosions in an action movie?), Dante Lam's latest still gets the job done from a run-and-gun standpoint.
  •   REVIEW: EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE  |  January 17, 2012
    Too soon? For Stephen Daldry's 9/11 drama, the right time is "never."
  •   REVIEW: THE DIVIDE  |  January 10, 2012
    Many a teleplay for The Twilight Zone threatened atomic Armageddon, and though Frontier(s) director Xavier Gens nukes New York in the opening shots of his latest thriller, he finds more inspiration in the horrors of human nature as seen in the old TV show's episode "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street."
  •   REVIEW: MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL  |  December 20, 2011
    Impossible Missions Force agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) returns to the screen in dramatic fashion as new teammate Jane (Paula Patton) and the returning Benji (Simon Pegg) break him out of a Russian prison.
  •   REVIEW: WE BOUGHT A ZOO  |  December 20, 2011
    Matt Damon plays Mee, a journalist who decides that he and his daughter (a precocious Maggie Elizabeth Jones) and sullen teenage son (Colin Ford) need a new start after the death of his wife, so he spends his life savings on a house in the country.

 See all articles by: BRETT MICHEL

MOST POPULAR
RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed