We're mining further for nuggets of interest in the Hot 100 this week. Just to keep things fresh, let's check out this week's brand new entries.
3_TAYLOR SWIFT, "MINE" | The Kanye thing was our last major Swift moment, the one that lingers in our minds: here's this flashy heel interrupting America's Sweetheart, stealing her moment of glory, making a prize tit of himself. We were all on Taylor's side, but wasn't it a Kanye story? Isn't it still a Kanye story? Follow me out on a limb here: is Taylor Swift in danger of forever being a Kanye story?
It'll be her new album that seals it. This track is sweet enough, but if some flashy heel jumps on stage, you're going to look at him, instead. It's a country tune, though it tries to hep up with some scandalous Kelly Clarkson guitars — might raise some eyebrows at the barn dance, but it's not showing enough ankle to entice the rest of us. Hey, whatever: like her last few, it's a little boring, and it'll be a huge hit. She started writing her own material as a teenager, and she's only 20 now, so she can coast on rewrites for a few years and still be ahead of the game. She's got plenty of time to grow up, get into weird drugs, and start making Kate Bush records. Do that.
25_LINKIN PARK, "THE CATALYST" | The intro sounds as if Def Leppard had made a track for the Mortal Kombat soundtrack — which isn't as rad as you might think. Then it sort of hangs around, waits for a tune to develop, gets bored, jerks off, and falls asleep. The highest compliment I can pay it is that it doesn't sound exactly like Linkin Park. Of course, that's the highest compliment you can pay anything.
46_SEAN KINGSTON FEATURING NICKI MINAJ, "LETTING GO (DUTTY LOVE)" | A limping, quasi-Jamaican club embarrassment with all the dials set on medium. This thing is dregs, and if a DJ plays it before 7 am, he didn't bring enough records. The Nicki Minaj guest verse is actually the best part, even though she treats it like a homework assignment and writes a little book report about Sean Kingston.
50_JAY SEAN FEATURING NICKI MINAJ, "2012 (IT AIN'T THE END)" | I'll have to dig up some deep cuts from the Billboard Hot Baltic Folk charts before I can go a week without hearing at least a couple of Nicki Minaj guest spots. And yet, this is the second time we find her saving a song's ass. Maybe she's just trying to prop up her image by dropping verses alongside the least charismatic singers in existence. In case you're curious — and you needn't be — this track is an unneeded 1999 ripoff about an even more arbitrary party deadline.
53_KATY PERRY, "NOT LIKE THE MOVIES" | She's got two songs in the Top 10 — could this new cut climb up and make it three? No. Absolutely not. The world's already goddamned insane beyond belief for tolerating "Teenage Dream," but at least that one moves around a little. This thing is nothing but inert. I can feel the blood pooling in my feet. Given repeated listens, it might have some hope of becoming measurably annoying. I know, I'm an optimist.
94_DAUGHTRY, "SEPTEMBER" | You're early. Come back in a week or two so I can hate this shit in the right month.
96_THE SCRIPT, "THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED | Yeah, I already heard this sub-Keane MOR auto-croon bullshit last week. Now I'm "the man who can't be moved" to review this track! Duh-hyuk! And, yes, I got paid to make that joke. Later, losers.
DAVID THORPE |dthorpe@thephoenix.com
