August means two things: it's ice cream weather, and Morrissey's just said something stupid.

Okay, the latter isn't really dependent on the time of year, but it's still true. Equally true is how the Ben & Jerry's truck is spending the month inspiring childlike glee by dispensing free ice cream, so there's no better time to answer the dual burning questions "What can Morrissey's unfiltered utterances teach me?" and "Man, how cool would it be to drive an ice cream truck?"