A fashion moron's notes on the Project Runway Finale

“Christian Soriano, signing out.”ce:office" />

It was a fitting way to end this season of Project Runway. Not because it was he who ultimately won it all. But because in my mind, it was sort of the Christian Soriano show from the beginning last night. From his wonderfully absurd description of what it was he was looking for in a model (“fierce tallness and walks for days”) to his kooky modeling of Jillian Lewis’s ridiculous looking hat prior to the runway show (all the while going “bring it back, bring it back”), Christian downright stole the proceedings. It's this fashion idiot's opinion that without he and Chris March — whose carefree, seen it all, low-key approach proved a good foil for Christian’s fast-talking prima donna act — there surely would have been far fewer reasons to watch this season.

As for the rest of the show last night?

Notes!

- Christian, Rami Kashou, and Jillian take a walk down the never-ending Bryant Park runway. Christian remarks how long it is. God, it’s only a 45 minute show, he says.

- Tim Gunn gives a heartfelt pep talk to the remaining 3 designers. He’s no Vince Lombardi. But he speaks from the heart. “Trust that you are superb. You are.”

- Jillian says something supremely vapid in her introduction to her show. Which surprises me because she’s no dummy.

- Her show? One funny hat after another. The rest is a blur. Though, I should say, all of us watching get very excited when we spot the hat Christian was modeling earlier in the show coming down the runway. For us, it’s a highlight.

- Reactions from the folks I’m watching with. Lady 1: “Pretty” Lady 2: “Umm.”

- Rami’s intro about his collection being about women is the worst. Too scripted, as the oh-so-astute Lady 1 points out. It’s also a veiled swipe at Christian.

- His first two dresses look exactly the same to me.

- Rami likes pink.

- Rami likes redheads.

- Rami’s stuff doesn’t sit well with the room. “I really don’t like his clothes,” Lady 1 announces. Ouch.

- Christian wins in the intro department.

- His stuff, truth be told, gets a little monotonous for me, as the judges — who are clearly wiretapping my brain — will say later.

- I see a lot of wicked witches walking down the aisle.

- Christian has got one look where he apparently wanted to simulate for the model what it would be like as a blind person. Seriously, the girl can’t see a damn thing with all that shit in her face.

- Predictions? Lady 1: Jillian  Lady 2: Jillian  Me: Christian

- It’s true: my love for Christian knows no end

- Apparently neither does Victoria Beckham’s. The two are already exchanging sweet nothings before the competition is over.

- Jillian is eliminated. A collective gasp from the room. Lady 2 passes out. The news proves too astonishing.

- Christian wins! I rub it in the faces of those around me. 

- Rami goes out in style: “You will be seeing a lot from me and you will be wearing my clothes.”

- So too does Christian: “Hello! Did you have a doubt? Come on! What up?”

- Fade to black