Ann Coulter's Mink Exposed

My father told me that his dad used to watch Wheel of Fortune because, since he’s not allowed to read Playboy, he had to fill his spank bank with images of Vanna White. These days my grandfather watches a lot of Fox News.

Since liberals are allowed to frequent strip clubs and watch skin flicks, we don’t need to get our news from emaciated hotties (See: Rachel Maddow). Horny conservatives, however, like their misinformation delivered via sexy loudmouth whores.

Nobody knows this better than the folks at the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, who compiled a 2009 Pretty In Mink calendar featuring a variety of ruthless female conservatives from Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin to Star Parker – America’s favorite crack smoking welfare degenerate turned right wing icon.     

Since Republicans can’t even make a calendar without jabbing lefties, all the chicks are wearing mink coats. Yeah – because that’s more offensive than the fact that even one person would want to look at these bitches for 12 straight months. Some aren’t even remotely attractive; I couldn’t rub to State Department Senior Advisor Susan Phalen if she was straddling Pam Anderson.

If you have a cute daughter with small brains and lots of shit opinions, this might be the inspiration that she needs to make something of herself. For everyone else, this is clearly the funniest/worst stocking stuffer out this season.