"Meat is the new bread!"

Ugh, bread is such a drag. So bland and... un-meaty. But fret not, gluttonous lovers of fried chicken, greasy bacon, and all things gooey and processed. While Jamie Oliver may be starting a "Food Revolution" and Michelle Obama is leading efforts to fight childhood obesity, the fine folks at KFC don't think our country is obese enough. Take that, MeMe Roth!

On Monday, KFC debuts the Double Down, a monstrosity of a sandwich featuring two slices of cheese, two pieces of bacon, and a mysterious "Colonel's Sauce" mushed between two fried chicken filets. Remember that California earthquake earlier this week? That was Kevin Smith setting up camp outside his local KFC.

The meal comes in at 540 calories, 32 grams of fat, and 1380 mg of sodium. (A grilled version cuts out 80 calories and 9 grams of fat, but come on, what KFC customer is going to order that?) Finally, there's no more bread standing between you and a coronary.

The concept of a breadless sandwich is nothing new to viewers of "30 Rock," who may remember the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine from 2007's oddly prophetic "Rural Juror" episode. Modeled on the George Foreman grill, Jordan proudly touted his Dr. Spaceman-approved gadget's ability to take three meats and meld them into a "delicious food ball" and promised "never again will you have to suffer through the bread part of your sandwich."

All together now: "Meat is the new bread!"