The Big Hurt: Release yo’ delf

The week in horrendous press releases
By DAVID THORPE  |  October 22, 2009

0910_bighurt_main32565432

Every slow pop week has a silver lining: it’s a great chance to catch up on the thrilling world of useless press releases.

SINGER LISBETH SCOTT RELEASES INNOVATIVE PHOTO CAMPAIGN “HOPE IS A THING” | This lady’s album is called Hope Is a Thing — a pretty strong contender for the worst name for anything, ever. She’s got an explanation, however: she “wanted to create a musical and visual collection that would remind people of the importance of hanging onto hopes and dreams and the simple, non-material things that open our hearts and bring us joy. . . .

“Lisbeth also feels these concepts are often best demonstrated through innocent eyes, so alongside the album release comes the launch of an innovative Web-based worldwide campaign featuring children of all backgrounds and ethnicities who express what it is they hope for in today’s world via the simple image of holding up a hand-created sign.”

Little “diverse” kids holding up signs about what they hope for? Shit, even Michael Jackson is probably looking down (?) from Heaven (?) and going, “Oh, come on, lady.”

“BARBIE GIRL” IS BACK AS POP PHENOM AQUA REUNITE FOR “BACK TO THE ’80S” AND OTHER NEW SONGS ON GREATEST HITS | Hey, guess what song is now stuck in your head? You’re welcome. But the real news is Aqua’s new single, “Back to the ’80s.” Here’s the skinny: “At a time when ’80s pop is undergoing a revival with new artists such as Lady Gaga, Aqua re-emerges with a hymn to that decade. As producer/songwriter Claus Norreen says, ‘We write songs that put a smile on people’s faces. . . . Maybe people are ready again for music that’s about good times.’ ”

Nice of them to reunite for a bonus track, but why bother? If we know only one of their songs, by default everything else is a bonus track.

YAHOO! SETS OUT TO PERSONALIZE ITS SIGNATURE YODEL | The best releases let witless companies publicize their own failures, as in this beauty from the near-obsolete Yahoo! juggernaut: “As part of the launch of its global ‘It’s Y!ou’ brand campaign in late September, Yahoo! Inc. is giving the yodel back to the people by inviting them to participate in the creation of the next generation of one of its best-known brand assets — the Yahoo! yodel.”

It fills me with evil delight to see such a wreck. Yahoo’s absurdly named, perversely expensive, and disastrously unhip “Y!ou” marketing push has, according to a recent study by branding pollsters, actually soured the public on the brand. Combine that with their famous yodel — one of the most irritating jingles in corporate history — and you’re looking at an unprecedented bonanza of consumer irritation.

Yahoo is now running an on-line contest where Webgoers can submit their own yodels — you’ve got till November 8. There was even a “Yodel Studio” event in Times Square, with Randy Jackson, Pete Wentz, and Jewel supplying the requisite celeb presence. Jewel: “I have finished many of my concerts with a yodel. I love that Yahoo! is helping expose more people to yodeling now too.”

1  |  2  |   next >
Related: The Big Hurt: Shill crazy, Taste of the town, The Big Hurt: Bieber dolls are coming!, More more >
  Topics: Big Hurt , Celebrity News, Entertainment, Music Stars,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY DAVID THORPE
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   THE BIG HURT: LUPE’S CAREER CHANGE  |  March 19, 2013
    You may have already had a big luxurious eye roll at celebrities as "creative directors" of companies ...
  •   WHO CHARTED: SMOOTH JAZZ SONGS  |  March 12, 2013
    If you dig deep enough into Billboard.com's genre charts, past the foreign hits, past the Latin and Christian stuff and the MySpace streaming charts, you'll find one last afterthought: Smooth Jazz.
  •   THE BIG HURT: THIS WEEK IN OFFENSIVE CONTENT  |  March 08, 2013
    In her long career of pushing boundaries, Madonna has run afoul of some of the world's most powerful institutions.
  •   THE BIG HURT: DIVING IN THE PR DUMPSTER  |  February 26, 2013
    I've been dumpster diving in the PR bin, the rankest receptacle of music industry waste, and I've come up with a dripping fistful of the month's hottest garbage.
  •   THE BIG HURT: LEANIN' WITH BIEBS  |  February 20, 2013
    Bieber was allegedly photographed sipping something from a double Styrofoam cup, in close proximity to a big bottle of codeine cough syrup. This can only add up to one thing: lean . That purple drank, the laudanum of Screw, the deadly nectar of Pimp C.

 See all articles by: DAVID THORPE