A Spokane Vally, Wash. man was arrested for breaking into a liquor store by smashing its front window.

His first attempt to smash the liquor store's window with a rock failed, so he went up the street to a hardware store and purchased a hammer for $11. TWith said hammer, our friend successfully broke into the packie, and stole...a $9 bottle of wine.

DEPT. OF REINTERPRETATION
10 years ago
October 16, 1998 | Reporter Sarah McNaught interviewed conceptual artist Paul Richard about his latest “work.”
“The 36-year-old provocateur...recently climbed up on a massive billboard in Kendall Square and pasted, beside a picture of John Lennon and Yoko Ono, a sign that read PAUL RICHARD PRESENTS APPLE COMPUTERS, SPECIAL THANKS TO JOHN AND YOKO.

NOT TO MENTION THAT FAMOUS FRENCH STENCH
5 years ago
May 23, 2003 | Steve Almond asked that Bush and Co. consider invading France.
“What the Bush regime needs to realize (and I think, deep down, it does) is that Americans are ready for a war against France. The recent squabble over Iraq is really just a symptom of a bone-deep, longstanding hatred between these two nations.

NOT TO MENTION THAT FAMOUS FRENCH STENCH
5 years ago
May 23, 2003 | Steve Almond asked that Bush and Co. consider invading France.
“What the Bush regime needs to realize (and I think, deep down, it does) is that Americans are ready for a war against France. The recent squabble over Iraq is really just a symptom of a bone-deep, longstanding hatred between these two nations.

BAD TIMES
5 years ago
May 16, 2003 | Dan Kennedy called for “tougher standards” in journalism in the wake of the Jayson Blair scandal.
“Yet by purging Blair, it would be wrong to think that all is now well at the Times, or in journalism. Tougher standards are needed. We all deserve better. I was struck by a comment that Alex Jones, director of the Joan Shorenstein Center.

THE ICK FACTOR
5 years ago
March 21, 2003| While listening to R. Kelly’s new album, Chocolate Factory, critic Jon Caramanica couldn’t get the singer’s recent transgression out of his mind.
“On ‘Ignition Remix,’ for example, there’s some awkward business about spewing ‘venom’ into a lady’s ‘trunk.’ And on ‘You Made Me Love You,’.

The Weekly World News may be dead -- long live the Weekly World News -- but who needs it when we've got Boston Herald covers like this one? We were reminded today that the WWN -- bless its putrid, beautiful soul -- perished not because its niche shrank, but precisely because the opposite happened: its practice of fabulism, shameless hyperbole, and proud, profound disdain of anything so mundane as "the facts" metastasized into general practice for the mainstream media.

Dance in the streets!! Toast your neighbor!! Use exclamation marks with reckless abandon!! Seven years of ire and whining directed at Karl Rove finally paid off today as Bush's top political aide--the man credited as the brain behind every Republican victory in the past seven years (and blamed for the notable rout in the 2006 mid-term election)--announced his resignation at the end of the month.

Dear douchebag or bags who robbed my apartment early Tuesday morning,

I'm not going to say I'm not mad—because I am. I'm furious but not just because of the material possessions you stole. What riles me almost as much as the DVDs and CDs you swiped is your sheer incompetence. Even the cops said this is one of the sloppiest robbery cases they’ve ever investigated, so I want to pass on some advice for future reference.