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Epic Movie

No remorse

By TOM MEEK | January 31, 2007

1.5 Stars

EPIC MOVIE: The White Bitch

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the brain warp behind the Scary Movie franchise and Date Movie, again take their tired and not-so-true formula (lifted from Airplane! and The Naked Gun) and spoof a list of semi-recent theater fillers that include The Da Vinci Code, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, X-Men, and even Borat. It’s hilarious in blips, but overall there’s no glue — it plays out like an overlong Comedy Central skit lurching for the next laugh without any remorse for the gross misfires in between. The Scary Movie series had the indomitable Anna Faris to give it teeth; here her stand-in, Jayma Mays, has to share the screen with three other mains (including Kap Penn of Harold & Kumar fame) as orphans on the run from the “White Bitch” in Narnia. The Pirates of the Caribbean music-video clip, with SNL’s Darrell Hammond doing an uncanny Johnny Depp, is the film’s gem, and, keeping with dead-on Depp knockoffs, Crispin Glover is Michael Jackson creepy as Willy Wonka.

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