The Phoenix Network:
 
 
About  |  Advertise
Adult  |  Moonsigns  |  Band Guide  |  Blogs  |  In Pictures
 

Oh, the Madness!: The thrifty gambler's guide to betting on college basketball this year

Betting on college hoops isn't merely for sports nuts, columnists, and NCAA referees. It's for the fiscally responsible, too! I mean, someone's gotta win, right? So here is the surefire method to ensure that your ten (or more) dollar buy-in will turn itself into a small (or enormous) fortune.

-Holiness is an awful quality. Don't pick any team that would suspend their leading rebounder for having premarital sex.

-Ignore your pal over at UC Santa Barbara because "Dude, it's our year," is a sentiment shared by all face-painted idiots with their shirts off.

-Not only does Wisconsin have a great record, but public-radio-funding billionaire David Koch promised the team "a fun time in California" if they can take attention away from Gov. Scott Walker. Bet on them being in the Final Four.

-Research the mascots and pick accordingly by which would win in a one-on-one battle.

-And finally, as difficult as it may be, pick against your alma mater. All the good times you ever had won't mean much when you lose your car.

There you have it. You don't need to be a courtside guru to take home some dough. Adhering to this groundless advice while lending some unfounded faith to your intuition will make you a winner come April. Good luck.

| More

1 Comments

  • Janet Bates said:

    Loved the article on March Madness.  Like your style of writing.

    March 22, 2011 7:03 PM

Leave a Comment

Login | Not a member yet? Click here to Join

(required)  
(optional)
(required)  
 Friends' Activity   Popular   Most Viewed 
All Blogs
ADVERTISEMENT
Related Articles

Oh, the Madness!: The thrifty gambler's guide to betting on college basketball this year
Boston Phoenix
Oh, the Madness!: The thrifty gambler's guide to betting on college basketball this year
Published 3/17/2011 by David Eisenberg
Betting on college hoops isn't merely for sports nuts, columnists, and NCAA referees. It's for the fiscally responsible, too! I mean, someone's gotta win, right?...

1005_blotter_list
Boston Phoenix
Facebook fracas
Published 5/7/2010 by MATT TAIBBI
Clinton Hart has one too many friends; plus, a pack of ’Dawgs starts chasing the Ducks

more by David Eisenberg
The Week in Geek, March 21-28: Tricksy hobbitses, machete maidens, and clockwork hoedowns | March 21, 2011
Oh, the Madness!: The thrifty gambler's guide to betting on college basketball this year | March 17, 2011

 See all articles by: David Eisenberg

Follow the Phoenix
  • newsletter
  • twitter
  • facebook
  • youtube
  • rss
Latest Comments
Meet the Mayor: Guitar Center - Shattered-Glass-Audio, Don't they make those "Fµ(|{1n9 Rad" solid state guitar amps that...

By Todd Livingstone on 03-25-2011 in Phlog

Suspended In Time: The Phoenix Remembers Adam Aries - That was so great! Thanks so much for praising a man well worth the praise. He was a wonderful nephew...

By Andrea Sevinsky on 03-25-2011 in Phlog

[phlipcam video] Cold War Kids @ House of Blues - Cheap jerseys,wholesale jerseys,cheap NFL Jerseys,Wholesale NHL Jerseys,MLB Jerseys,Cheap MLB Jerseys...

By nfl2shop28 on 03-24-2011 in On The Download

Independent Film Festival of Boston 2011 - I live in the Gulf Coast region of Alabama and my wife and I are making the trip to Boston for this esteemed...

By David Roffman on 03-23-2011 in Outside The Frame

Having sex in Fable 3 – and the trouble with love - Yes this was very well written and really funny haha. I can relate to your boyfriend though. Ill probably...

By Keith on 03-23-2011 in Laser Orgy

Latest Comments from Phlog
Most Viewed
Mr. Awesome
Phoenix book reviews in Powell's
WFNX Boston Accents playlist 02.27.11
Slaine to Appear on NBC's "The Cape" Tonight
[awesome video alert] Bodega Girls "School Night"
iTunes releases "The Hunger," new Shirley Manson track off Prometheus Bound
Rest In Peace Roc Dukati
Most Viewed from Phlog
Search Blogs
 
Phlog Archives
Saturday, March 26, 2011  |  Sign In  |  Register
 
TODAY'S FEATURED ADVERTISERS
thePhoenix.com
Phoenix Media/Communications Group
Copyright © 2011 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group