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10 Things That Are Better Than Kelly Clarkson Singing Guns N Roses

Sike. Nothing's better than Kelly Clarkson singing Guns N Roses. But all this shit is pretty close.

1. Gwen Stefani blatantly, SHAMELESSLY ripping off Boston emo-fashion mogul Johnny Cupcakes for her new Harajuku Girls "Cupcake Collection." Paging Urban Outfitters!

2. Famous Boston blogger and sometime Phoenix freelancer Wayne Marshall landing an entry in the next volume of DaCapo's prestigious Best Music Writing anthology. According to our inbox, Wayne is headed to Chicago this fall, but we're hoping he'll return for some kind of Enormous off-the-meathook book party or something.

3. CARE BEARS ON FIRE. Steve Buscemi's son: tween-punk mogul!

4. Lindsay Lohan, crazy slutbag. Among our fave quotes from her Elle meltdown:

LL: Well, [I] say things that aren't true a lot, just because it's fun. Yeah, if I was dating one person [I'd] probably tell them I was dating someone else and then I'd call my friend and be like, "Do you mind if I say that we're dating?" I figure I'll fuck with them, because they fuck with me. But what did [my publicist] say?
ELLE: She recently told Page Six that you were "dating several men who live overseas," which sounded kind of tawdry.
LL: Yeah, like I'm Angelina Jolie, taking on lovers. I don't want to put myself in the position where I'm in a monogamous relationship right now. I'm not dating just one person.
ELLE: How many times do you sleep with someone before you're officially dating them? I don't know the rule these days.
LL: I don't either. But Sex and the City changed everything for me, because those girls would just sleep with so many people! My mom's going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But if I'm going to give my body to someone, I'd rather them not be with other people.
ELLE: That's very old-fashioned of you.
LL: Yeah, but I want to be able to if I like someone else.

5. Free Cat Power tickets. Tune in to this blog on Monday for your pair.

6. Ex-Takers and In-Out homeslice Nick Blakey's new blog, Retrospective Foresight. <--Knowledge jewels by the crate right here. Now if only we could get him to post some mp3s. (Yes, it's true what Nick says in his first post: we passed on RF as a column in the Phoenix. Not because we don't love close-readings of old American Music Club and John Cale albums, but because ultimately we aren't Mojo.)

7. The return of Lemon-Red.org. We'll miss Mr. Nelson's shenanigans at TourBlog, but fear not: coming soon to the TourBlog URL are all-new hijinks from Newburyport indie stars Tiger Saw.

8. Diplo's Cassie vs. Gold Lion remix.

9. Clell Tickle. Not quite as funny as everyone says it is, but it's waaay better than dude's MIA routine.

10. People doing double-takes at the newsboxes this week over Sharon Steel's awesome cover story: Paris Hilton: America's Next Musical Genius!
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