Boston Zombie Survival Guide: How Not To Get Your Brain Devoured This Weekend

Easter is upon us, and -- as is the custom -- the dead are rising. For anyone who hasn't been keeping up with their copy of the Undead Farmer's Almanac, allow us to give you the extended weekend zombie forecast, so that you may plan accordingly.

SATURDAY APRIL 11
Coolidge Corner Theater, Brookline | 11:55 pm | $10
"Feast of Flesh VIII" presents Cemetery Man

If you value your grey matter, you would do well to avoid Harvard Street this weekend: On Saturday, the Coolidge is sure to be heaving with ghouls. Horror-meister (and real-life undertaker) J. Cannibal hosts a screening of Cemetery Man (also known as Dellamorte Dellamore). This 1994 cult-favorite Italian flick stars Rupert Everett as a boneyard custodian who, along with his Igor-like sidekick, Gnaghi, catches a bad case of zombie fever when his corpses start re-animating (check out the trailer here). As extra bait, Cannibal has thrown in a costume contest, undead punk rawk from Vagiant, and performances by Black Cat Burlesque, who've been known to get a rise out of even the coldest cadaver. And here's a recap of the last "Feast of Flesh," in case any of you would-be zombie hunters feel like taking notes.

SUNDAY APRIL 12
Davis Square, Somerville | noon | free
Boston Zombie Outbreak

Easter Sunday, this most holy day of resurrection, brings with it an onslaught of zombies (and no doubt a horde of confused, corpse-painted quislings, who can be just as dangerous). They'll be mobilizing in Davis Square and then trudging to Harvard Square to feast on plump, well-marbled Ivy League brains. If you're planning to be in Cambridge that day, make sure to hit the gardening aisle at a hardware store beforehand to pick up supplies -- used properly, a sturdy shovel can decapitate and split open a decaying cranium faster than you can say "Cadbury Creme Egg." But if your tactic is to infiltrate the horde, it's easy enough to blend in. As these videos show, creating effective zombie camouflage is not only simple, it's dirt cheap. (Protip: for aromatic authenticity, nothing simulates rotting flesh better than rancid hot-dog water; spritz liberally on pulse points for best results.)
 

MONDAY APRIL 13
Coolidge Corner Theatre, Brookline | 7 pm | $7.75-$9.75
"Science on Screen" presents: Night of the Living Dead

Anyone who manages to survive Sunday's infestation is clearly a cut above the rest when it comes to zombie evasion. But if you really want to become a leader in the fight against the Gray Menace, you will need to understand the enemy. And for that, you need Steven Schlozman, a psychiatrist who has dedicated his life to studying the inner workings of walking corpses. Tonight, Schlozman addresses the all-important questions: What does the brain of a zombie look like? Do they experience consciousness? And, most importantly, why are zombies so hungry? He'll be presenting his findings alongside a screening of the groundbreaking documentary Night of the Living Dead, field researcher George Romero's indispensable primer that paved the way for all undead life science to come (view the trailer here).

Skip this one at your own peril. And be sure to check back next week, when thephoenix.com's zombie-innoculated videographers present a look back at the Weekend of the Dead.

-- SHAULA CLARK