It may be a bit solipsistic to presume that we’ll have anything to do with our own eventual demise. We busy ourselves, fussing about with shrinking carbon footprints and creating an environmentally friendly piece of tupperware, glaciers receeding like a hairline, apocoplyptic weaponery, messianic ideaology, pig flu, bird flu, mad cow, too many people, not enough water, global jihadism and the fucking Jonas Brothers, forgetting that for all these delightfully macabre scenarios, what might kill us all could be none of these things.

According to the Smoking Gun, Vince Schlomi, a/k/a "Vince Offer," a/k/a "the Sham Wow guy," a/k/a #26 on this year's 100 Unsexiest Men list, was arrested last month for punching a woman he'd paid $1000 for sex. Charges were never filed, but in a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Schlomi admitted to cops (after being read his right to remain silent) that after forking over a grand in $20 bills to one Sasha Harris and taking her back to a hotel room, she "bit his tongue and would not let go," whereupon Vince "began to strike [Harris] numerous times in the face area." Nobody comes out of this one looking too good.

THE GRISLY DETAILS
10 years ago
November 6, 1998 | Michael Crowley collected choice quotes from celebrities regarding the Monica Lewinsky scandal.

"Just when you thought there was nothing new to say about the Monica Lewinsky scandal, the latest issue of Rolling Stone offers opinions on our overfellated president from an all-star cast.

First she tried to market the image of herself as a fearless first-lady-caught-in the-line-of fire with her exaggerated claims of narrowly missing sniper fire while on a visit to Bosnia in 1996, but now she’s trying to dupe the public into thinking she possesses the same die-hard, give-it-your-all, not-going-down-without-a-fight personality as…Rocky Balboa? In her most recent public appearance, Senator Clinton compared herself to the legendary Sylvester Stallone character in a speech given to the AFL-CIO in Philadelphia today

Hobbits love FILK

More on FILK, after Georgiana Cohen's mind-opening article "What is Filk? The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the DIURNAL atmospheric DISEQUILIBRIUM."

MP3: Georgiana Cohen talks to FNX about Bilbo Baggins and jams, man.

Hehehe, I'm laughing with you, Phoenix Phlogger.

Due to an error, ahem, on the part of this Phoenix Phlogger, the Phoenix's review of NBC's Lipstick Jungle will be running next week, not this week as hyped/promised. It seems... Lipstick Jungle does not premiere until NEXT WEEK.

So for fans like me, of shows about 3-4 highly-successful, couture-wearing, cuuute, sassy, sexy, salacious women who are best friends and all happen to live in NYC, give it another week. TTFN.