My life in Boston's kinky grappling scene

Rough and tumble
By S.E. BOITANO  |  November 10, 2010

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So there I was, face-down in a low-lit room in a disused factory building, pinned to a mat by a slender blonde wearing a lacey bra, panties, and a wicked smile.

A small crowd of men and women in fetish garb and sports gear watched intently as she slowly pressed her perfumed forearm into my neck. I saw her eyes widen with delight. As stars started to dart in and out of my vision, I had only two thoughts: "I'm about to pass out," and "How soon can I do this again?"

Looking around at the rapt crowd now cheering, I realized I was not alone in my infatuation.

How can you define kinky grappling? It's not quite sex, but not quite a sport. It's combat in a sexually charged atmosphere, usually at a party or club — wrestling with an erotic cherry on top. S/M toys such as floggers or whips, may or may not figure into matches; clothing is optional; multiple, same- and opposite-gender opponents are par for the course. Do the matches end in copulation or a technical takedown? That's up to the participants. Wrestling, after all, has always seemed just a liplock away from sex.

Across the country and across the world, adults are discovering the deliciously thin line between rolling on the mat and rolling in the hay Lively Internet forums and active private clubs centered on erotic boxing, wrestling, and martial arts are gaining ground. Nationally, New York City's Grapple Den is a popular underground outlet for strangers to roll with one another; groups such as Chicago's Second City Smackdown Crew, and Seattle's Rough 'n' Tumble parties are all keeping people busy and fit with a mix of arm bars and titty twisting, while offering advice, even suggestions for mat cleaner.

Freak-driven social networking sites like fetlife.com boast over 25 groups that cater to this trend, including local meet-up groups like Boston MA Erotic Wrestling and Boxing , with 113 members. And those members have plenty of occasions to meet up: Goddess Arsine of Boston Haven, a private kink venue, says kinky martial-arts events are a big pull to her club. Kinky Grappling Boston, started three years ago by Joe Jitsu and his wife, Mistress Mischa, also hosts events.

"There is absolutely a lot of people interested in it out there," says Jitsu (not his real name).

"At first, it was mostly professional [dominants] seeing clients, but once we started holding events, we had a steady crowd of fetishists who were into it from the traditional whips-and-leather aspect. They like the rough body play and closeness."

For others, he adds, "It's just fun to roleplay. You get to talk trash with your partner and work up some foreplay for some really kinky sex afterwards."

I've been writing about the BDSM scene for years, and I've been fascinated with wrestling just as long. So when I came across a reference to kinky grappling on the Web, I was intrigued. I had to investigate for myself.

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