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It's been four years since the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy ended, and Jerry Bruckheimer hasn't produced a hit in that time — which is the sole reason On Stranger Tides is beaching itself in theaters now. A total bore, without a memorable action sequence, the film miscalculates from the start by shifting Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow from swishing jester commenting on the action to his new role at the center. Director Rob Marshall (Chicago) has none of the visual imagination of Gore Verbinski, director of the previous three films, and Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom are gone as well, replaced by Penélope Cruz as Sparrow's old flame Angelica, daughter of Blackbeard (Ian McShane), a woman who has less chemistry with Depp than with the returning Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa. Their quest concerns the Fountain of Youth — and they'll need it if this series goes on any longer.

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