Some say a critic's job is easy. But just try enduring the hours of bad sex they have to watch to do their job. When it comes to eye-bleach-worthy cinema, the new millennium started with a drug-addled Jennifer Connelly having ass-to-ass dildo sex with a prostitute — and has just kept on showering us in ever-more inventive perversions.
With input from a half-dozen hard-working professionals from the Boston Society of Film Critics, we've compiled a rough guide to the squickiest sex acts committed to celluloid this century. From autofellatio to zoophilia, these scenes are sure to kill any boner faster than you can say "Charlotte Gainsbourg with a hunk of lumber." We've rated them according to how they might affect an average couple on a date — from least-worst ("Last Date") to worst-worst ("Restraining Order").
Afterward, you'll likely need a palate cleanser. If you're in need of a take on cinema that's more celebratory and upbeat, join the BSFC for its annual awards ceremony this Sunday, February 10, at the Brattle Theatre.
In the meantime, remember: they saw these movies so you won't have to. Don't try this at home.
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