This is Bennett.

Bennett is a seventeen-year-old white bro who "thinks he's a Crip" and has trouble spelling. Also, he is hilarious. Inexplicably, Bennett has a really bright, well-spoken (well-texted) cousin who he texts regularly about things like "lasanya" and whether it's cool to bring an Indian girl to Thanksgiving dinner.

This weekend, after sleeping off the turkey, we here at the Boston Phoenix will be putting in a few extra shifts to begin the laborious process of clearing out the newsroom, which has been gathering dust, backissues, scribbled in-jokes, stuffed chipmunks, and Dukes of Hazard posters for a couple of decades.