Shipped to the Coolidge Corner Theatre all the way from Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse, Henri Mazza started off last Friday night with an audience challenge: he brought two dudes on stage to “battle” over the instrumental track from R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet.” The easy winner was Nick Campolo, with his effective Kellyish falsetto and an intense delivery. He ended his freestyle with “We’re gonna eat popcorn! And watch every video from R. Kelly like it was fucking porn! (Porn, porn, porn).” His opponent replied with dirty words but unlike the actual R. Kelly failed to move the crowd. And with that, the Coolidge’s inaugural midnight “ ‘Trapped in the Closet’ Sing-Along” — an event that had sold out six hours in advance — was in session.
In Austin, Mazza hosts all manner of sing-alongs, among them the Alamo’s wildly popular version of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer sing-along, which originated at the Coolidge. Unlike the Coolidge, the Alamo serves beer, but Mazza appeared to have made prior accommodations. Drunk and genial, he told a rowdy packed house that when it comes to seeing the “Trapped” saga, “the first time is magical!” Explaining the evening as a “study of R. Kelly’s career,” he announced, “We’re trying to figure out if he’s the most brilliant artist of all time or a retard with a record contract!” This dichotomy became a recurring theme, with audience members yelling “Retard!” and “Genius!” like a mutant Le Tigre remix.
Despite its “Trapped in the Closet” billing, the night was actually a two-hour tour of Kelly’s œuvre. The South Park “Trapped in the Closet” episode was playing as the audience filed in, and later there was a teenage remake of “Trapped” notable for the way the actors changed with each cut. But “Trapped” is such a ridiculous curio in Kelly’s catalogue. Following the battle came the early-’90s new-jack swing of “Bump and Gring” and “Sex Me.” (R. was already foreshadowing his serial tendencies, talking about “Sex Me (Part I)” being the first chapter.) After chapters 1-8 of “Trapped,” we came to the meat of R. Kelly’s genius, a streak of hits that began after his infamous legal troubles. “Ignition (Remix)” changed the vibe in the room, with the entire audience singing and bouncing; “Step (In the Name of Love)” got people on stage. Revelation: these people have no rhythm. Mazza returned to stage a mock “live interview” with Kelly, recontextualizng R’s “Trapped” DVD commentary by asking new questions. It was a great set-up: the audience watching R. watching “Trapped” as Kelly gets caught up in his own brilliance, peeking over his chair to see whether everybody is still there with him. Kelly opines that “Trapped” is all about “cliffhangers,” and it’s hard to argue with “Oh my God, a rubber. (Rubber, rubber, rubber.)” To reinforce the obvious, Mazza threw glow-in-the-dark condoms into the audience.
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Elisabeth Donnelly: elisabeth.donnelly@gmail.com
