In case you were wondering how many guys are allowed to say "yup," the answer is one. One guy is allowed to say "yup." Such is the legal opinion of generic R&B/rap entity TREY SONGZ, who makes it is his catchphrase (he stylizes it "YUUUP!"). The New York Post reports that Songz'z lawyers sent a cease-and-desist letter to DAVE HESTER, a featured player of the A&E reality series Storage Wars, who also says "yup" sometimes. Hester responded with a lawsuit, which seeks financial damages, plus a court order to keep Songz from interfering with Hester's use of "yup."
Yo, Trey: maybe if saying "YUUUP!" is a big enough part of your personal image that you feel obligated to legally defend it, it's probably time to go back to the personal-image drawing board. Maybe "yup" is rad enough to warrant protection if you're a grizzly old guy buying shit from storage-unit auctions on TV, but pop stars should have a lot more to work with, unless they're incredibly goshdarned boring.
Not being able to say "yup" anymore isn't too bad, but here's something truly galling: we're not allowed to call ADAM ANT "nutty." LIAM GALLAGHER just got in trouble for that one: "Not into a geezer who wears makeup. Especially fucking nutty ones." The problem, you see, is that Adam Ant is actually nutty, which makes Liam's comment super insensitive. Sue Baker, of the mental health charity Mind, scolded Liam in the Sun: "Many celebrities, like Adam Ant, have spoken out about their mental health problems, and we are so grateful that they do. It's not helpful for people brave enough to be open to be met with name-calling."
Erstwhile DIPSET wunderkind JUELZ SANTANA has been arrested again, this time for disorderly conduct and making "terrorist threats." At first glance, the idea that Juelz Santana is a terrorist sounds a little unlikely — but no! Santana has been sympathetic to jihad even when it wasn't cool. In 2002, he stirred up a bit of controversy by dropping the following rhymes on a Diplomats mixtape: "I worship the late prophet/the great MOHAMMED OMAR ATTA/for his courage behind the wheel of the plane/reminds me when I was dealin' the 'caine." Of course, Santana claimed that the lyrics had been misinterpreted. "I never said I worshipped him," Santana quite incorrectly told NME.com; "I said I worshipped his courage."
Hip-hop terrorists are chilling enough, but what about a hip-hop mafia — a hip-hop gay mafia? FAT JOE thinks they're out there, and they're in control of rap. "The hip-hop community is most likely owned by gay," Joe said in a recent VladTV interview. "I happen to think there's a gay mafia in hip-hop. Not rappers — the editorial presidents of magazines, the PDs at radio stations, the people who give you awards at awards shows — this is the fucking gay mafia, my man. They are in power."
Just to put this in a little bit of context, Joe had just been asked if he thought he'd ever worked with a (closeted) gay rapper. He responded: "I think I've done songs with gay rappers. I'm pretty sure of that. I'm pretty sure the football niggas is gay, the basketball niggas — niggas is gay. There's millions of gay people in the world. Girls, too. Once again, I'm not a fan of that shit either. I'm a fan of 'Yo, I'm gay, what the fuck?' Like, 2011, you gotta hide that you're gay? Be real! Like, 'I'm gay, what the fuck?' If you gay, you gay. That's your preference. Fuck it if the people don't like it."