Throw a heavy metal party in your house

Guest Column
By JONAH LIVINGSTON  |  July 31, 2012

HAIR OF THE DOG Jonah Livingston, left, plays drums in Boston thrash band Ramming Speed and
founded TDB Records in 2003.

From the frigid coasts of Scandinavia to the bathwater-warm beaches of Florida, all metal tribes share a common bond. While riffage, tone, lyrical content, and style of footwear might be up for debate, what brings all warriors of the world together is the love of a good heavy-metal gathering. It is in these moments of chalice-raised Manowar sing-along that we join as one unstoppable drunken Goliath, high-fiving in awe of how good Exhumed are in 2012 and blissfully destroying furniture when the double kick finally drops into "One."

Boston is notoriously cliquey, and our summers are both fleeting and precious, so it's time to get to work! If you have a basement, quit being a sissy and book a show. is full of touring bands looking for gigs, and for a good time you can always call on locals like Sexcrement, Furnace, the Proselyte, Finisher, and Led to the Grave. If that fails, a loaded iPod will do the trick — all I ask is that you save your buddy's third-wave porno-noise demos for another time. Play Motörhead instead.

On the drinking end, PBR is cheap and easy to scrub off your ceiling the next morning, but don't be afraid of getting dark 'n brutal. Local brews like Clown Shoes' "Vampire Slayer" and Blue Hills' "Black Hops" will suffice. As for collateral damage: this one time we were blasting Hail and Kill over on Quint Avenue, and my buddy Blake got so excited he put his foot through a glass table. By the next morning, the trail of blood led pretty much from the corner of La Mamma and up Harvard Avenue to Mission Hill. What I'm saying is: hide the fine china, 'cause no one wants to deal with you stressing about missing a couple first-edition Magic cards. It's party time, and if the couch snaps in half there's another free one on Craigslist as we speak.

When you wake up under your kitchen table wrapped in an Iron Maiden flag and covered in BBQ sauce, you'll be glad that you took one night out of your miserable work week to destroy your living room with a handful of life's rare champions.

Related: Inside the crushing sounds of Castevet, Rule return to their heavy-metal roots, Pallbearer survive extinction, More more >
  Topics: Music Features , metal, music features, metal issue 2012
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