Marvel considers short films for second-string heroes

 

Rumor has it that Marvel wants to introduce audiences to their lesser-known characters via short films. They'll probably do the honors for the expected: Dr. Strange, Gambit, or a collection of other X-Men mutants. Personally, I'd like to see Marvel rock the boat.

 

1.) Ant-Man
"Arriving in New York, Ant-Man stumbled upon a woman about to be mugged and intervened by beating up the mugger. He then asked the woman, who was named Beth, out on a date and she agreed. That night and after the date, Eric was asked to come to Beth’s apartment for coffee. Eric took this to mean something else and was thrown out by Beth. However, Eric took down Beth’s address and returned as Ant-Man to her apartment and began to secretly live there." Sounds like a great short film -- and by "great," I mean "terrifying". I think I understand now why Ant-Man never caught on as an actual hero.

 

2.) Psylocke
I hear Megan Fox needs work.

 

3.) Spider-Woman
"During one of Spider-Man's temporary retirements, she wore a padded version of his costume and substituted for him." I don't know whether that's awesome or pathetic -- but hey, I'd watch it.

 

4.) Squirrel Girl
She's a joke character -- but that joke is long enough to last the length of a short film. Also, she's apparently dating War Machine in secret? Come on, Marvel, Avengers and Iron Man tie-ins! It's like I'm just handing you money, here.

 

5.) Elektra
Oh, wait, they already made her into a feature film. But why? Why, Marvel, why?

 

6.) Dazzler

Did you know that there are three different characters named Dazzler? (1, 2, 3.) Individually, none of them are worth your time, but put together? A power trio, thoroughly committed to sparkle motion!

 

7.) X-Babies

Exactly what it says on the tin: child clones of the X-Men. Except, for some reason, it wasn't just a one-shot joke.

 

8.) Cable & Deadpool
A great buddy comedy waiting to happen. Scratch that -- this one's feature film worthy.

 

Make my list longer in the comments.