April 27, 2006
Nintendo has officially changed the name of its next-gen system
from the "Revolution" (a solid name that was easy to remember and
represented Nintendo's views of its own lofty goals) to the "Wii"
(which is pronounced "wee" and is kinda lame).
Kotaku has the press release and video.
April 24, 2006
Cartoon Network aired some
Saved By The Bell episodes and now . . . well . . .
we'll let them explain it.
Adult Swim has done it again! Following hot on the heels of
Fox's Family Guy, Saved By The Bell has been pulled from cancellation
with an order for 30 all new episodes taking place at Bayside High.
"We were ecstatic when we saw the early numbers on Saved By the Bell on
Adult Swim," said Matt Laster, the VP of Turner Entertainment's newly
created 80's Reclamation Department. "We knew
this had the potential to be big, but we never thought it would be this
big. The fans have really shown their support and come out in droves on
the adultswim.com website."
According to Laster, the new series is still in development but he did
say that almost all of the original cast would be returning, minus
"Showgirls" star Elizabeth Berkley. The series will follow the events
after Saved By the Bell: The New Class and find Screech as the new
principal of Bayside and a retired Mr. Belding as the proprietor of the
Max, the hangout that the Saved By the Bell gang frequented. Screech is
overwhelmed by the new group of students and puts out a call for help,
and soon, all of the old regulars are back at Bayside. Laster would not
elaborate on the status of Zack and Kelly's relationship, though the
couple were last seen walking down the aisle.
"I've spoken to the crew and they really can't wait to get back
together," said Laster. "We think this will be a fun and exciting new
direction for Adult Swim and we can't wait to find even more great 80's
comedies for Adult Swim."
We still think it might be fake. If it isn't, it just made our year.
EDIT: Looks like it's a fake. Sorry to get everyone's hopes up. We're as disappointed as the rest of you.
April 19, 2006
This is what happens when satire goes awry.
Three weeks ago, FHM magazine had announced its 100 Sexiest Women of the World list. That was a few weeks after askmen.com announced its 100 Most Desirable Women of the World list, and a few weeks before People will announce its most Beautiful People of the World list. So being in the business of pop culture commentary and satire, we piled on and sought to create a list that would use the same elements: fame + the number 100, and add some humor and commentary about celebrity. We sent out an email to our most trusted female friends and co-workers, and after a day, we had a nice little list. We were ok when Fark.com picked it up. Dan Patrick was cool. Olbermann, Imus, the View. But when Regis started talking about it, we knew we had created a monster. Now people want to know where they can vote next year.
So what have we learned from this exercise:
America loves Clay Aiken!
Imus can't stop talking about how ugly he is.
Canada loves Chad Kroeger!
We played right into the hands of Keith Olbermann's Bill O'Reilly pretty hate machine.
Randy Johnson gets no love (Not one letter)
K-Fed should have been higher.
America really loves Clay Aiken.
For the meantime, all we can do is hope that the pictures of Tom Cruise eating his new baby's placenta get released and replace the story from being #1 on CNN.
April 17, 2006
So someone gave Dan Patrick the list. And Dan gave it to Keith Olbermann. And Olbermann read it on the show. Here's the list again:
You probably know by now that
Scarlett Johansson was named the sexiest woman in the world by the readers of FHM.
But who would be her theoretic antithesis: the unsexiest man in the world?
We've been pouring through thousands of photographs, millions of frames of movies and TV shows, and now we've created a
list of the least sexy males on the planet.
Our pick for least sexy? One Gilbert Gottfried.
"And the talent agent says 'what do you call yourselves?'"
Don't agree with our findings? Send us a letter or
give a comment (on the article, or here.)
April 13, 2006
While you're busy trying
to scrounge up the last of your receipts and weighing whether you can write off
the Spice channel as a business expense, take a look at this list Slop Culture
has compiled of the 15 greatest celebrity tax cheats of all
time.
Al Capone – The
granddaddy of 'em all. Legend has it that the notorious gangster once remarked
that tax laws were a joke because "the government can't collect legal taxes on
illegal money." But the government could, and it was that law that enabled the
FBI to pursue and arrest Capone when sufficient evidence could not be found to
indict him for his years of illegal gambling, prostitution, murder, and
bootlegging. (And Geraldo still found jack shit in his vault).
- Willie Nelson – In
1990, Nelson was hit with a bill for $16.7 million in back taxes from the IRS.
To help him pay it, the IRS confiscated and auctioned off his assets.
Fortunately for Nelson, many of them were bought by fans and given back to him.
He also made an album to support himself called The IRS Tapes. These days, he's featured
in H&R Block Super Bowl ads (as well as a spokesperson for
marijuana).
- Richard Pryor –
Pryor served 10 days in a Los Angeles county jail in 1974 for tax evasion.
According to him, he told the judge he forgot. He also said what the judge's
reply was, but we won't repeat that here.
- Sophia Loren – Just
so you don't think this is a strictly American phenomenon, Loren spent 18 days
in an Italian jail for tax evasion. Yes, even really beautiful people have to
pay their taxes.
- Barry Bonds – Bonds has not been convicted,
charged, or even arrested for anything yet. But if
what the authors of Game of Shadows
uncovered is true, Bonds could be in hot water for giving unreported
money to his then-mistress Kimberly Bell. Some speculate that his tax
problems - not his alleged steroid use - will be what eventually brings
about his downfall.
- Richard Hatch – When
you're the first winner of a high-profile million-dollar reality show, it's
usually a good
idea to report that money to the IRS. Hatch never did. As of this
writing, he has yet to be sentenced.
- Darryl Strawberry – In 1995,
another chapter was added to the sad tale of Darryl Strawberry's fall
from grace when a court ordered him to pay $350,000 in back taxes and
sentenced him to six months of home confinement. Things mostly got
worse from there.
- Martha Stewart –
Stewart argued that she shouldn't have to pay New York state taxes in 2002.
After all, she said, she barely spent any time in New York. Unfortunately, a
judge busted her with her own material: a passage from one of her books that
said she had a house in East Hampton. Stewart paid up.
- Luciano Pavoratti –
Pavoratti was twice accused of tax evasion: once in 1999 and again in 2001. The
second time he was acquitted, but in '99, he did have to pay $11 million to the
Italian government.
- Mystikal – Mystikal
failed to pay about $270,000 in taxes and was sentenced to a year in prison.
But there was a silver lining in his story: he was allowed to serve it
concurrently with the six-year sentence for sexual battery he was already
serving.
- Boris Becker – The
tennis great avoided jail in '02 and received probation. He also paid 3 million
Euros for back taxes owed to the German government. We have no idea what that
would be in 2006 dollars, or in Deutsche marks.
- Spiro Agnew –
Richard Nixon's VP resigned in 1973 after pleading no contest to
charges of tax evasion and money laundering. He was replaced by Gerald Ford.
Things mostly got worse from there.
- Don King – Only in
America: King, who was convicted of manslaughter and pled the fifth amendment in
front of the Senate when asked about his connection to John Gotti, was indicted
on charges of tax evasion in 1991. A mistrial was declared, and King went on to
fight another day.
- Ronald Isley – The
R&B legend was convicted of tax evasion this year, but his sentencing was
postponed indefinitely. He's currently recovering from a stroke.
- Steffi Graf – In
1995, Graf was accused by German authorities of tax evasion on her tennis
winnings in the early part of her career. At the time, though, Steffi's father,
Peter Graf, was in charge of her finances. The charges against Steffi were
eventually dropped after she paid 1.3 million deutsche marks, and her father
spent close to four years in prison.
April 12, 2006
If you're going to do a story about a woman having six babies (SIX!) If you're going to put that story on the cover of your newspaper (COVER!). Then you might want to actually see a picture of the babies. Instead, the Examiner of Independence Mo. ran a pic of Sarah and Kris Everson holding up 6 tiny baby outfits to accompany a story about their six new bundles of joy. Bundles of lies more like it (LIES!). Turns out, the Everson's didn't have six kids. They just had a bunch of bills and were hoping to return all of the Huggies they would be getting (via a website they set up soliciting gifts) for some cold hard cash.
The lady Everson said they were keeping the babies hidden because they were in danger (DANGER!) of being killed by a member of her husband's family. Slop Culture calls the book rights. And shotgun.
What was actually inside? Just Marshmellow Peeps and old Beta tapes.
April 10, 2006
It's official:
Keifer Sutherland has signed on to play uber-agent Jack Bauer
for three more years, meaning the popular real-time Fox show will
(presumably) last that long. It's fun trying to picture Sutherland negotiating the contract in-character.
"DAMN IT!! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!"
Of course, by releasing this news, Fox has immediately squashed any
future cliffhanger they may have wanted to do involving Bauer's
possible death. Not that there could be a show without him, but the
"No, seriously, Bauer is dead!" thing has been a staple of the show.
Actually, come to think of it, it's a little done to death. And this
season's plot just doesn't make any sense: if the President is behind
the whole thing, then how are we now to believe all the stuff that
already happened? Was he trying to kill the Russians this whole time?
And don't get us started on how the show handled the death of Tony
Almeida. Now that we think of it, is it really a great idea to keep
this show around for another three years? It's already (arguably) jumped the shark. What happens when the quality
really goes downhill? And really, how much more
stuff can happen to one guy?
Oh, who're we kidding? As long as Chloe sticks around, we'll keep watching.
April 06, 2006
You are now officially allowed to masturbate to video game characters.
The new Lara Croft, softer and more supple than before, stars in Tomb Raider: Legend.
April 06, 2006
Fresh off waging their war on Scientology, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have now decided to go after that
other much-ballyhooed, raunchy adult cartoon,
Family Guy. As always, clips on
Youtube
could be removed at any time, but if you get the opportunity, here's
the money clip from last night's episode titled "Cartoon Wars." Even if
you're a fan of
Family Guy (and Slop Culture is on the fence,) you have to admit it's pretty much dead on.
April 03, 2006
Viewers who went to see
The Ice Age: Meltdown over the weekend were somewhat unexpectedly treated to a teaser for
The Simpsons' big-screen debut next summer. We thought it was going to be later than that because of production on current episodes of
The Simpsons,
but whatever. If you're looking for some clue as to the quality of the
film from the teaser, then forget it. We're guessing it will be close
to the current crop, meaning nowhere near as good as its
early-to-mid-90s peak, but not quite as jaw-droppingly awful as some of
the early '00s stuff.
The trailer's been
Youtubed, so watch it before Fox puts the kibosh on it:
April 02, 2006
It will be in
Myrtle beach, SC.
It will cost 400 million.
It will be 140 acres.
It will open in 2008.
But screw the specifics. What are the rides gonna be? We’ve got some suggestions. (other than the obligatory Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Roller Coaster of Love.)
Round and Round Merry Go Round starring Ratt
Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet Log Flume
Flirtin’ With Disaster Swings starring Molly Hatchet
The Aerosmith Rockin’ Roller Coaster (may already be taken)
And of course, Bruce Springsteen’s Jungle Land (featuring airplane rides from
Clarence Clemons).
Alright, it’s late and these suck. You do better. The best ride name gets a free dvd. Or a video game.
