February 29, 2008
NO!
New 3-D fashion from Victor & Rolf. Hmm, no, I think.
No, no way.
February 28, 2008
Boo hoo, Web cam
We blog to exist. This is the premise (blargh) of NBC's new Web-to-TV series Quarterlife, as pontificated by pale and dreary blogger/protagonist Dylan Kreiger (played by Bitsie Tulloch).
Already, New York Magazine has written upwards of five articles about Quarterlife (from the co-creators of My So-Called Life). Already, NYMag has called Tulloch the next Claire Danes. Too bad for Tulloch, whose character fumbles her own name in front of her Web cam. Dylan is sad, scared, insecure, pensive, and possibly also really dumb, though always attentive to her artful, black hair. Somehow she gets away with posting blogs and videos of her depressed, drunk, and sex-crazed roommates. They are mad at her for less than one episode. It's sort of like the Real World meets The Devil Wears Stripes, for amidst concubinal confrontataions, Dylan is an associate editor at Women's Attitude.
No matter her plethora of nerdy-chic sweaters, sweatshirts, and artfully soiled t-shirts though, Dylan is a mess. She is no Claire Danes as Angela Chase, coming of age in hallways and boiler rooms with the likes of illiterate heartthrob Jordan Catalano.
Meanwhile, Dylan's love interest Jed, Quarterlife's indie car-commercial maker, looks nothing like Jared Leto.
Then
Now
February 22, 2008
Amazing, heart-breaking, heart-wrenching, Sex and the City Movie Trailer. (Aside from the cheap joke about Miranda's pubic hair.) Poor Miranda! If Steve cheats on her I will die, worse, I die and will never believe in true love between two TV-show characters again. OH, pools of sadness.
Check out my mini ode to Sex-and-the-City designer Patricia Field below... 
February 21, 2008
Normal.
Yikes! What's that on her arm?
Pics are from London premiere of ScarJo's film "The Other Boleyn Girl". ScarJo's tattoo could be fake. These are real.
February 21, 2008
Zoot alors!
Zis pre-view looks so good! Ze drama! Ze passions! Ze trés big bows on ze back of ze purples coats!
And, ze FREEEENCH men! Trés mignon! (you know, very cute):
FRENCH MAN: "ZO WE ARE IN PARIS!"
LO-REN: "YAY!"
FRENCH MAN: "LO-REN AVE YOU SEEN ZE EIFFEL TOWAIR?"
LO-REN: "NOOOOOO!'
WHITNEY: "LO-REN, BRODY AS ZE NEW GAIRL-FRIEND. AND EET'S ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS!"
LO-REN: "NOOOOOO!"
AUDRINA: "LO-REN, YOU LEFT AND NOW I AM DATING ZE JUST-EEN BOBB-Y, AGAIN! AND ZE EIDI IS MY FRIEND!
LO-REN: "NOOOOOO!"
SPENCER'S SISTER: "LO-REN, I AM IN ZE FASH-YON CLASS WITH YOU!'
LO-REN: "NOOOOOO!"
BRODY: "LO-REN, WHAT IS YOUR PROB-LEM? I AM GOING HOME WITH ANOTHER CALIFORNIA GAIRL, ZIS NIGHT!"
LO-REN: "NOOOOOO! PUTAIN!"
As you can see, ze Lo-ren is trés upset, all ze time! Bravo for ze MTV!
February 19, 2008
Swoon
The girls look smitten at the Berlin premiere of The Other Boleyn Girl, right before they sort of make out. It doesn't happen until the end of the Today Show clip above, but Johansson almost looks like she is going to topple out of her chair with %100 percent pure love for her petite, co-star Portman.
MUAH, I say, imaginarily throwing my arms up into the air.
Surprise! I am kissing you, ScarJo! Just call us Scarman. Or Snatalie. Or maybe, Pohansson?
February 19, 2008
Heidi Montag admitted she
sobbed herself to slumber after her atrocious musical video first debuted on La Internets. But Spencer Pratt's confidence in her talent must provide a wonderful sense of comfort and security.
It's always nice to support your significant other in their botched endeavors toward stolen fame. And it really helps when you're the most disingenuous, douchiest douche in the entire universe!
"When people hear what we have in the bank, it's gonna blow their minds," her manager-beau boasted. "Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming – they're gonna sell 10-million plus."
Got that, Billboard? 10-million plus! Diamond rings! Screw Britney! Screw Madge!
Now here's something good enough to make your teeth vomit:
"How do we keep romance alive?" Pratt mused to PEOPLE. "Our lives are romantic all day long. With us, it's 24/7, always trying to keep each other happy. [This is] just another weekend to us. Every day is Valentine's Day in our relationship."
Whattaguy! What a fucking guy, eh? Unbelievable.
February 19, 2008
To be La Lohan…
Psh, I think it would be terrible. What a basket case, what a hooch, what a boooob. It’s really the latter the latest issue of New York Magazine is concerned with: Lindsay Lohan’s breasts. How are you today girls? Just checking in! Hello, breast one! Hello, breast two! It’s a nice day inside this pervy photo shoot, isn’t it?
Maybe, this is art. But considering the subject, I argue it is not. I can name a million and one breasts I’d rather see try to channel Marilyn Monroe than Lindsay's. Lohan has become: simply boring. And these pictures of her are: simply pathetic (even though also sort of fantastic: she does not look too orange, she does not look too thin, her breasts are real). Lohan would really do better posing in Hustler, than in New York Magazine as a dead pop-culture icon known at least, for some artistic oeuvre.
...NSFW photos after the jump, anyway. The photos go nicely with this dirty, little ditty.
February 15, 2008
There aren't quite twenty seven heads here. But hopefully you get the idea. (The hair is not photoshopped.)
Ms. Biel has basically taken my heart and any semblance of a semblance of truest love and smashed it on the red carpet. She also bleached her hair, wtf!!?? So, when or if Justin proposes to her, expect a really wretched picture of her on here (she could be a totally cool, normalish girl) but I secretly hope she really stinks.
February 12, 2008
All I can say is THANK GOD.
April is so long to wait, but come spring, my beloved Upper East Side histronic-fest,
Gossip Girl,
will return to the idiot box! I really don't care about the Oscars. I really do care about whether Blair has been Juno-ed. Soon, all shall be revealed.
February 07, 2008
Paris Hilton is hot, like little, throbbing, imaginary, pink hearts follow her around everywhere she goes.
"You people are so hot! Harvard is so hot!" she said, as she accepted her award of Woman of the Year from Harvard’s Lampoon magazine yesterday.
Lampoon’s editorial staff stood in the drizzle. Hilton fans pushed each other into puddles. Through it all the heiress, in a platinum-blonde bob and steel-grey cashemere coat, posed and autographed copies of Lampoon — and somebody's Penguin Classic.
When shoved a book with the word “Party” in the title, Hilton exclaimed that she too likes to party. When asked what her new movie The Hottie and the Nottie is about, Hilton responded: "A hot girl and an ugly boy.” She is just so herself all the time that I think most of us swooned. Then it got very hard to breath in the crowded puddle. Paris's hand looked strained and her hair risked falling flat. And more and more of the boys in bow ties started trying to talk to her. That's when she became sort of like a real-life hottie.
People really eat this shit up, you know?
February 04, 2008
We've watched a lot of fucked-up shit in our day for "pop-culture education" purposes, but man, this Spencer Pratt-directed vid of Montag and her heaving bosom makes our teeth want to vomit. We don't know what's worse. "
Body Language," which Montag and Pratt debuted on Ryan Seacret's show over the summer, or this horrifying joint, "Higher." One thing is certain. Spencer behind the camera is far, far worse than Spencer rapping. We stand by that statement. Onward:
